There’s a hole in my #Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude (or #Catch50)

The UK trying to leaving the EU may turn out to be like Captain Yossarian trying to leave the air force, in Catch-22.  I have written a song about this, entitled, “There’s a hole in my Brexit.”  Here are the lyrics.

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may-feministjean-claude-junker

There’s a hole in my Brexit

The people have voted, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  The people have voted, dear Jean-Claude.  They’ve voted.

For what have they voted, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  For what have they voted, dear Theresa.  For what?

 

They’ve voted for Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  For Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean Claude.  For Brexit.

But what means this “Brexit”, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  But what means this “Brexit”, dear Theresa?  What’s “Brexit”?

 

Why, Brexit means Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  Brexit means Brexit, dear Jean-Claude.  Br-exit.

Then do it, dear Theresa, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Then do it, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Just do it.

But how shall I do it, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude?  But how shall I do it, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude?  How?

Give notice, dear Theresa, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Give notice, dear Theresa.  Dear Theresa, give notice.

 

What is this “notice”, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude?  What is this “notice”, dear Jean-Claude?  What notice?

Read Article 50, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Read Article 50, dear Theresa.  Read it.

hourglass

It mentions “requirements”, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  In paragraph 1, dear Jean-Claude.  “Requirements.”

What kind of requirements, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  What kind of requirements?  Requirements?  What kind?

 

“Constitutional requirements”, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  Constitutional requirements, dear Jean-Claude.  Dear Jean-Claude, constitutional.

Then meet the requirements, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Then meet the requirements, dear Theresa.  Meet them.

 

D’you know what they are, in Britain, dear Jean-Claude?  The Brit constitut’nal requirements are what?

You tell me, dear Theresa, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  You tell me the requirements, dear Theresa.  Tell me.

 

A vote in our Parliament, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  Well, actually, several.  An Act, to be frank.

Then ask them to vote now, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Just ask them to vote now, dear Theresa, just ask.

 

But they won’t vote for Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  In fairness, they cannot.  They simply can’t.

Why can’t they (or won’t they) dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  Why won’t they vote Brexit, dear Theresa?  Why not?

 

They don’t know the terms yet, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  They don’t know the terms yet, dear Jean-Claude.  The terms.

Then tell them the terms now, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Just tell them the terms now, and ask them to vote.

 

I don’t know the terms yet, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  I don’t know the terms yet.  Don’t know them myself.

Why don’t you know them, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  Why don’t you know them, dear Theresa?  Why not?

 

They’ve not been agreed yet, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  They’ve not been agreed yet, dear Jean-Paul.  (The terms.)

Then negotiate terms now, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Negotiate terms now, dear Theresa.  Negotiate.

 

With whom shall I negotiate, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude?  With whom shall I negotiate the terms?  With whom?

With me, dear Theresa, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  That’s my job, dear Theresa.  Negotiate with me.

 

But you won’t negotiate, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  You can’t negotiate.  Remember?  You can’t.

Why can’t I negotiate, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  Why can’t I negotiate, dear Theresa?  Why not?

 

Try Article 50, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  (We haven’t given notice of Brexit just yet.)

Then give notice now, dear, dear Theresa, dear Theresa.  Give notice of Brexit.  Negotiate with me.

 

I’ve told you I cannot give notice, dear Jean-Claude.  The constitutional requirements to do so aren’t met.

Then you’re snookered, aren’t you, dear Theresa, dear Theresa?  You can’t do your Brexit, dear Theresa.  You’re stuck.

 

But the people have voted, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude.  They all think that Brexit means Brexit, their vote!

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