Category Archives: Songs and poems

# Trans girl

Young Girl by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap, 1968 – click image to listen to the original track on Youtube

Faking charms of a woman

You kept a secret of your sex
You led me to believe you’d lady bits
As well as ( . )( . )
– By which I mean your flabby pecks

Whoa, oh, oh, trans girl
Get out of my mind
Your sex at birth wasn’t “assigned”
Better run, girl
You’re too well hung, girl

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Filed under Feminism, Homophobic, Law, Men's Rights, Political, Satire and humour, Songs and poems

# Esmerelda had a plan

I’ve written another song.

 

 

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Filed under General chit-chat, Satire and humour, Songs and poems

# Oranges and limes

The bells of York Minster sound out for Easter

“Oranges and limes!”, began one of the chimes,
“Ee, it’s good to be back, though m’ rope’s a bit slack.”

“What I want to know,” said the bell that sounds So,
“We was laid off, but what were t’ reason for that?”

“I don’t rightly know”, said t’ great bell tuned Do.

(False ending – i.e. slight pause, during which people who think the song has already finished may start to applaud, only to be interrupted by the the start of the next verse.)

“I’ve news about that”, piped oop t’bell tuned Bb.
“News?  Pray announce!”, clanged several at once.

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Filed under Gospel, Satire and humour, Songs and poems

# There’s a hole in my Brexit

Star post

#Catch50

The UK trying to leaving the EU may turn out to be like Captain Yossarian trying to leave the air force, in Catch-22.  I have written a song about this.

Here are the lyrics.

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Filed under #Brexit, Political, Satire and humour, Songs and poems, Star post

# And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like “God hates you”

Affectionate parody of Westboro Baptist Church’s own witty parodies of popular songs.

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Filed under Gospel, Homophobic, Satire and humour, Songs and poems

# What a difference a Gay makes!

James Rhodes’ love song to Stephen Fry

Why did the mass media almost always mention Stephen Fry, in reports of James Rhodes victory in the Supreme Court?  The victory clearing the way for the publication of his book Instrumental, which documents the homosexual abuse of James Rhodes during his childhood? Continue reading

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Filed under Homophobic, Punning blog post titles, Satire and humour, Songs and poems

Lost Brother (song lyrics)

LostBrother

These are the lyrics of a song I wrote over a year ago.  When I sing it, I set it to a slow country and western tune, similar to the one for the song D-I-V-O-R-C-E that was performed by Tammy Wynette.  (It was partly that song that gave me the idea for this one.)  It’s a song about a particular type of bereavement, and regret. The first chorus has alternative versions, for US and British audiences, respectively.

LOST BROTHER

My baby girl is three years old,
My eyes, her mummy’s hair.
She doesn’t know, must not be told
’bout her brother, who isn’t there.

Her mum and I, we often cry,
’bout the days we met, in school
And we were blessed with a baby boy,
Who’s daddy was a fool.

She’s brought us joy, but I have cried.
My heart has been so torn
Because our son, her brother, died
Before our girl was born.

First Chorus

EITHER                                                        USicon

He didn’t live long.
He’d done no wrong.
We thought he’d have to go.
Oh how I wish I’d never heard
Of folks called Wade and Roe.

OR                                                                     UKicon

He didn’t live long.
He’d done no wrong.
To us he didn’t seem real.
Oh how I wish he’d never been born …
… that MP, David Steel.

She’s brought us joy, but I feel pain,
For the brother she’ll never see.
I weep with shame that our son was slain.
Who killed him?  It was me.

I’d hold my son like I hold his sister
If I had my time again.
I wish we’d stopped that A B O
R T I O N.

foetus

Second chorus

He didn’t live long.
He’d done no wrong.
They tore him limb from limb.
No matter how many more children I have,
They’ll all remind me of him.

(c) copyright John Allman MMXI

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Filed under Feminism, Pro-life, Songs and poems

Burning the poppy

Star post

This poem was inspired by a 2012 Daily Mail story, Teenager is arrested for burning poppy on Facebook.  It is about freedom of speech, a freedom that is under constant threat.

BURNING THE POPPY

I choked back my tears, as I pondered the rhyme
On 11/11, at just the right time,
In my home town square, where the wreaths had been laid
And the mayor wore his chain, and the Last Post was played.
“For their tomorrow we gave our today.”
Shall we squander such sorrow?  Throw tomorrow away? Continue reading

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Filed under Human Rights, Songs and poems, Star post