# Oranges and limes

The bells of York Minster sound out for Easter

“Oranges and limes!”, began one of the chimes,
“Ee, it’s good to be back, though m’ rope’s a bit slack.”

“What I want to know,” said the bell that sounds So,
“We was laid off, but what were t’ reason for that?”

“I don’t rightly know”, said t’ great bell tuned Do.

(False ending – i.e. slight pause, during which people who think the song has already finished may start to applaud, only to be interrupted by the the start of the next verse.)

“I’ve news about that”, piped oop t’bell tuned Bb.
“News?  Pray announce!”, clanged several at once.

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There’s a hole in my #Brexit, dear Jean-Claude, dear Jean-Claude (or #Catch50)

The UK trying to leaving the EU may turn out to be like Captain Yossarian trying to leave the air force, in Catch-22.  I have written a song about this, entitled, “There’s a hole in my Brexit.”  Here are the lyrics.

Did painted lady Charlotte Proudman learn the tricks of her trade by watching the Feminist Makeup Tutorial?

 

 

 

# And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like “God hates you”

Affectionate parody of Westboro Baptist Church’s own witty parodies of popular songs.

The Bad Chicken -v- 007

I was on my cell phone to a journalist, trying to arrange media coverage of a certain court hearing a few days later, in an organised stalking case in which I had by then been involved for about 18 months, and in which I took the next step in the litigation last week.  A “wrong number” call on my home phone, from an unknown stranger, interrupted me.  I put the journalist on hold to take the land line call.  The stranger asked very deliberately if this was the right number for “Sidney [pause] John A [pause] Gabriel“.

Different sex bigamy now!

Please sign the petition now!

For them to attain marriage equality with the rest of us, people who identify as bisexual, must immediately be allowed to practise “different sex bigamy”.   The governments of the world (if indeed they still be plural) must all immediately allow each self-identified “bisexual” person to marry two spouses, one a husband, the other a wife.

U.S. begs God for severe hell (anag.)

British actor Stephen Fry (depicted left, in role) once observed that the name of the British politician Virginia Bottomley was an anagram of “I’m an evil Tory bigot”.  Fry went on to claim (tongue-in-cheek) that this comical coincidence amounted to proof of the existence of God.

I continue this blog’s long and noble tradition of what I like to call “humor-phobia”, by reminding readers that the title of the recent case in the Supreme Court of the United States that imposed same sex marriage throughout the entire U.S.A. was Obergefell v. Hodges.

Doing a Fry myself, I have spotted that “Obergefell versus Hodges” just happens to be an anagram of the title of this blog post: “U.S. begs God for severe hell“.